"They say it's in God's Hands...

...But God doesn't always have the best God-damn plans, does he?"

It's been a long hot day.

So I feel like there are things I should be doing but I just put them off because I don't want to deal with problems. I mean thats part of the reason I don't do pot anymore, its because I think I was just using it to make things numb. I want to write more, and write something that actually is lengthy not just interesting one line phrases. I need to go back to school, and talk to my parents. But I just want to sleep all the time. I just don't want to wake up one day and feel like life has slipped through my fingers.

I mean a lot of times I really do wonder what is the point of everything, and then I think that really there isn't. Its all just random occurrences that we give meaning to because everyone wants to feel special.

I just feel like a giant void. Like I just constantly am trying to fulfill myself by taking in everything and anything I can, and nothing works. It's all just empty. And I only want more and more.